Water Yourself

 

Water Yourself

As I was scrolling the social medias of the inner webs….I saw a post about “watering yourself because you are growing”.  Those words jumped out and performed an entire epiphany musical in my head.

We…. I spend so much time watering others.  I will support you.  I will encourage you.  I will treat you.  I will promote you.  I will invest in you.  I will share with you.  I will guide  you. I will do the most….

But what about me?  Who is doing these things for me? 

The post was correct.  We all are growing, or we are dying. Once upon a significant emotional and spiritual growth spurt time in my life, I realized that I was alone.  There were very little supporters.  There were not clappers and congratulators.  There was silence.

In this piercing silence, and blinding light, I could clearly see and hear that those that I would have expected to be cheering, clapping, promoting, engaging, uplifting, and loving me were mute and distant.  It was an alarming and painful discovery.  The realization felt like betrayal.

I was fortunately able to clearly see why I was brought to the realization, and who was supporting, encouraging, and watering me.  The reality is that the more you water yourself, everyone around you is also required to water you as well. People will internalize and respond in kind to the way you speak about yourself, the way your treat yourself, and respond to what you believe is possible for yourself.  The moment you start to GROW, is the moment you’ll discover how people feel about the way you take up space.

Trauma and grief does occur in stages. It was necessary for me to become aware of my existence, and to water myself.  It was necessary for me to feel these feelings of detachment, and eventually restoration. I’m at the point where assignment of blame and processing is not longer required.

My life is like a garden.  One that I’ve designed.  It has always been a beautiful design.  However, I did not control its supply, therefore, could not control the environment. For many years I relied upon the ideas, acceptance, and approval of others to “water” me.  When we don’t control our water supply, we are susceptible to our environment.

I had to dig deep wells of self affirming fortitude and place irrigation systems of positive thoughts, and disciplines.  For a period, it was isolation.  The elevating climb was worth it, because now I can sustain a safe eco-friendly controlled environment that I am able to thrive in. Watering yourself is just another way to say Love Yourself.  Doing the work of self healing and self loving is challenging, but the greater reward is that you become able to love others bigger and better than ever before.

When I saw that post, I was admittedly triggered.  I was reminded that we hold our breath in life, waiting for others to be our oxygen.  I was reminded that as we wait for others, we prolong what is meant to be for ourselves.  Sometimes, we let parts of ourselves/our dreams die, while we are waiting and holding our breath.

We are in fact growing. When we water ourselves, we grow faster, stronger, taller, and wilder than we could ever imagine.  Water yourself, and become uniquely invasive.  Such that you overflow to all those who respect your power. So, here’s a triggered post to remind you, don’t wait for others, or hold your breath. Breathe, water yourself, and proliferate.

Abundance Always.