More Than Ever Before

More than ever before

In our youth time feels multidimensional and infinite. We have so much to look forward to. It creeps by.
Life is happening all around us.

Somewhere in early adulthood we gain maturity and responsibility.
It's as if the knowledge and awareness seems to warp our sense of time.

We realize it has quantitative monetary values. Which in and of itself poses limitations on our lifestyle and choices.

Life is happening to us.

As the bubbles of youth begin to fade into early mid life we see the world  in shades of gray and time is more like a graph in the 1st and 2nd quadrants.

We look and move forward with hope and intention.
At the same time we progressively process the past. Our memory bank is robust. Our subconscious is a lambrynth that suspends the present while bridging the past.

This is the age of compassionate wisdom.
We see ourselves as that immortal infinite soul trapped in an aging limited body.

We learn self forgiveness, self love, and self grace as coping mechanisms. We see time equally linear and desperately illusive.

It's a period where loss seems to compound. We frequently experience the loss of loved ones and those known to us. We likely have experienced the loss of possessions and relationships. Some of us will experience economic losses and in mid life crisis, our sense of personal significance and resolve.

It's not that losses don't occur to us at every stage and phase in life,  it's that in this stage, they happen more frequently. We tend to be more conscious of their impact. Possibly even more susceptible to the consequence of loss.

This is where I currently live.
This middle passage of mid life.
It is Bittersweet. I'm so grateful for every day, and each breath. At the same time, some days are dismal gray and it's hard to breathe.
In her latter years, my Big Mama used to say to me she couldn't get her deep breath. I understand those words more than ever before.

The upside and moonlight of this season is "more than ever before."
I literally have more than ever.
I am experiencing pleasure more than ever.
I am compassionate more than ever.
I am aware more than ever.
I am intentional more than ever.
Most importantly I've learned in this season that life is happening FOR me, and I'm grateful more than ever before.

Abundance Always.

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