Long Grief

I was listening to NPR. They were talking about holidays and traditions. They mentioned how people often do away with traditions because they don't feel connected to them. As I listened more, they began to talk about how adults get to chose, relive, repackage and repurpose rituals in our lives.

As I listened, I reminisced on my family and friend holiday rituals. There was baking holiday cookies and decorating ginger bread houses. There was always a fancy holiday gathering of colleagues and friends. There was the cruising streets to see the Christmas lights. There was church musicals and Charlie Brown.

This year is different. There will be little to none of these things.

The NPR segment began to encourage creating new rituals and traditions that fill the emotional gaps for what you desire in your life. It also cautioned about the side effects of replacing voids;grief.

Earlier this week, I attended my second holiday gathering of the season. I was surrounded by new faces in a new place. I was stress sweating with anticipation of it all. When I heard the radio segment start to talk about checking in with your feelings, I immediately jumped to this stress sweating at a holiday party. I posted about the event later. I commented about missing my previous women's group. There it was....loss.

I sent one of my friends a text this week that said I missed her most at Christmas time. We had created significant traditions together. I miss her being close by, and the community of our rituals.

After considering all these things I no longer have, I felt loss. One could call it Long grief. It hits you quite randomly. It's like a level down Christmas blues.

This time of year, people grieve. Grief can be significant or insignificant.

I normally wait until spring to replace house plants that have transitioned to plant heaven, but this week, I welcomed about 5 new guys to the family. I was needing to fill voids and gaps.

Many feel grief during this season. Some are living through tidal waves of loss left by death. Others are experiencing cascading waves of missed opportunities, moments, and memories. It's human to experience loss, pain, or shame. It can be common to drag feelings of resentments and fears into our future.

If you are experiencing long grief, the kind that periodically resurfaces, know you're not alone. 

It is important to know we can always begin anew.

We can recreate what adds meaning in our lives. We can extend ourselves grace, and remember, that others need our grace as well.

I pray that we all experience joy and fufillment during this holiday season and new year.

Abundance Always