Uncomfortable

I love horticulture. I decided to join a Garden Club  in a nearby town. I had reservations before engaging, but I did it anyway because I love to grow.

I was awkwardly welcomed, and then by a few, whole heartedly embraced.  I ended up making a fast friend and learning a ton.

All that having been said, it was awkward and uncomfortable. I was the only person who looked like me in the room.
The first  portion of the day was brutal.
I am used to being uncomfortable, but this was different. Normally, I could power past the ice chilled room and network my way  into hearts, but this was a paralyzing chill. I just stayed out of the way, observant,  and silent.
When I was younger, this would have not even phased me, but now, I was frozen.   I spent most of my career creating spaces that didn't feel like this one. 

Once I thought about this very uncomfortable feeling, I asked myself, what about it bothered me so much? Was it the race issue? Was it the age gap? Or was it  that I was daring to do something that wasn't inviting me to do it?

There. There is the honesty.  It was fear. I wasn't afraid of the reactions because I expected them.  I was questioning my intuition. Should I be doing this thing this way?


I think we all have this doubt. We all crave inclusion and acceptance. It never leaves most of us.  Waiting for life to invite us sucks.  Inviting yourself is uncomfortable. 
A few of us don't wait for permission. A few of us crash parties and hold our breath for the reactions. This is me. I invite myself to whatever is calling my soul, and check the program and crowd pulse once I'm in. We can never get to the bottom of our insecurities  if we don't explore what is uncomfortable.

All the magic occurs outside of our comfort zone. New thoughts and new energy flows to us when we get past being uncomfortable.


After some time, these ladies started warming up and embracing change in the form of my presence. So did I. I became my normal heart receptive self, and met the right folks with the good vibes.

I'm thankful for the experience. I think I will press on. It's in our discomfort that we stretch and grow.
It was through this one exposure and experience that a new income stream has been conceived.
Had I not gotten over my own ego and discomfort, I would not have gained the access I needed to be in alignment with the genius that flowed from it.

Morale of this story. If your heart desires something, don't wait to be invited. Show up like you belong there, because you do.
Grow even if it's uncomfortable.