Consider the Alternatives
Fear is a funny thing. It only exist as an opinion or perception.
The moment a solution, or a different perspective is presented, fear ceases. This is why we must surround ourselves with diversity. People who see the world differently than we do help us appreciate the world we are creating.
So much of my life I've lived inside a fear boundary and border. I suppose this is natural because as a society, we teach fear to children. Select people, places, and things are safe and appropriate. Anything outside of our fear border is dangerous, unproductive, and harmful. It is to be avoided. This is the constructs of how we define and measure success.
I've taught my children under this paradigm.
However, I also taught them to ask questions.
The most important question we must ask when considering others is what is the worst thing that could happen?
The most important question to ask of ourselves is what happens when we consider the alternative?
If we aren't winning, does that mean we are loosing? Could there be another perspective? If things are happening the way we intend, how do we quantify where we are on our spectrum?
When we meet a fear hurdle, do we fall in paralysis, or do we knock them down and barrel forward?
This question of ourselves is so important for many reasons. I've always felt most comfortable with an echo opinion to validate my decisions.
In this phase of my life I ask for validation far less. I stop and consider the alternatives.
Most of the time it is the instant boost of whatever adrenaline I require in any given moment. (Confidence, Ambition, Creativity, Authenticity, Boldness, Validation, Bravery)
We must normalize telling people our qualifications, experience, and superpowers. The better we get at describing who, how, and why people should know, choose, and PAY us, the faster people will start doing what we desire. Consider the alternative... silence does not serve the hungry or the ambitious.
When I'm feeling frustrated, asking myself to consider the alternative is to NOT have that opportunity or experience to figure out.
When I'm feeling offended, I remember that I'm accomplished and favored. My life could actually be something far less desirable, trapping me into the opinions and perspectives of others. But it's not. My life is dope online and a complete day dream in real world. There is nothing like considering the alternatives that floods gratitude and compassion.
When I feel like I'm selling myself to someone, or like I'm about to over promote myself, I remind myself that if I remain silent, who will support my cause and build my future? The alternative is poverty, which I fear like the devil.
When I am transparent, casting pearls, and sharing from experience, I have to remember that I'm blessed and my lived experience glories GOD. (Even when those choices/ facts equate to stigmas, statistics, and labels.) Jesus loves all of me today. So I can too. Even with all this, I can teach others to love me how I desire to be loved, because I'm worthy of respectable, consistent, and uplifting, adoring, appreciative and applauding safe love .
One of my most important transformation choices was to change my internal negative self talk. NEVER speak bad about yourself out loud. NEVER.
Take accountability and responsibility, but don't throw yourself away, or under a bus.
People take verbal and non verbal cues based on what we say, how we dress, and how we treat others. It's those little thoughts that define perception:
I'm so dumb/stupid. I'm crazy. I'm distgusting/fat. I'm unlovable. I'm damaged goods. I'm unwanted. I'm broken. I'm fragile. I'm afraid/shy. I'm no good. I'm not good enough.
People don't choose me. People dont like me. People are mean to me.
We've all thought or said things like this about ourselves. From time to time, I still do. Old habits die hard.
Never talk bad about yourself, even in the least of mentions. What we repetitively think, we perpetuate and create as a reality. We subconsciously look for ways to validate our perceptions. Always think positive and look your best! Others will follow our cues good or bad.
Be kind. Sometimes, this looks and sounds like silence. If you don't have positive things to say, pay a therapist to say them to... This is easier said than done. I have to check my heart and catch myself all the time. It is easy to find fault and cast judgement on ourselves and others.
The opposite is true. When we speak positive and perceive solutions and dream Miraculous outcomes, that is what we create. We subconsciously prove this new identity perception. Others see how we feel about ourselves and respond to those subliminals.
I struggled with this for a long while.
I still grapple with validation and esteem today. There were reasons people weren't doing what I desired and were treating me the way they did. My pessimist self talk was costing me.
Tweaking this one thing help me measurably. Negatity is always lurking. We must be vigilant in considering the alternatives and knowing your options. When these negative thoughts and voices start prevailing, what propels you forward and keeps you in gratitude?
#lifeofbliss #consider #considerthealternatives
#forwardingratitude
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