Reflections

We are looking for new members for my commission in our town.  I want to be of assistance, but I don't know that many locals yet.
Most of my friends and network are over an hour away from me. I suppose I need to meet more locals and get out and about a little more.
Does anyone hang out after COVID? I mean where are people going and for what? I listen to myself say these things with immense pleasure. There was once a time that I was NEVER at home. Now home is the ONLY place I really want to be.

I suppose one could call it wisdom. Others may call it maturity. I'm more comfortable with my skin, my thoughts, my space, and my place in life. I've found my lane, my vibe, and I'm on cruise control.

Im pleased with my personal development.  Ive done some shadow work. Ive chosen the sunlight. I've reconciled and I've grown. Reflection is important. Most of us are blind to the way others see us.  We can't see or recognize the response or reflection from others. Some of us go through life and never care how others perceive us. Most of us care to some extent, but struggle with the priorities of others thoughts versus the priorities of our own future higher self.

All that being said, occasionally, I am reminded of the person people saw in me. A former version of myself. I'm not proud of all my ways.  Especially the unintended ways  that made people not prefer me.

You can't go your life seeking approval, nor can you go around rubbing people the wrong way. Finding a good ratio is key to harmony and sustainability.
That being said, no accomplished person obtains the approval of everyone. There will always be people who don't care for you, or how you care for the world.
This season of my life is eye opening and reflective. Now that I'm no longer Bliss the  #mortgagegal  several people who once hated on me are uniquely receptive to the possibility of who I am becoming.

It is very weird to me. Was I that terrible of a person to evoke strong feelings?  Why the change of heart? Could it be that I was always DOPE but now there is no reason or rather no power to withhold from me?

I am asking these questions now because everytime I've made a significant visible status changes, people treat me visibly different. To me it's crazy. Whatever they are now seeing, are things I've been manifesting and developing for years. You wonder if people even know you.  No matter how close, or how peripheral the relationship, if you know me, you know, I've got BIG plans. I've likely shared them with you.
Why be shocked when you see them show up in my life?
People flip the script. Some folks hate. Then,  some haters jump on the fan train.
It's wild.  I guess the larger questions that puzzle me are:
What is it about me that makes others react how they do. Is it even me at all?
Why do I care?  Does it matter enough for me to change?


All of these questions jump out at me when I reconnect or cross paths with someone who didn't once care for me.

There is a lady that I once met.
From the very beginning the vibe was off. I've occasionally wondered  why. I had not directly engaged them, so I couldn't accou nt for the dismissal and disdain. Maybe it was her boss and mentors spillage limiting comments of me. Maybe it had nothing to do with me. There is always a possibility I made her internal demons jump. (Occasionally this happens)

Fast forward 7 years later, Her name came  to my mind as a candidate for this commission. My thoughts of her were never personal, so I didn't hesitate to call her with the opportunity. Now I am full aware  that I'm not a favorite person of hers, but I was expecting some receptivity.
She was immediately flat and sharply defensive.  Once I disarmed them in the conversation by announcing that I am no longer in the industry, they immediately switched gears. 🥴
There was suddenly all the time in the world, complete with praises of my new ventures and community involvement.
I respectfully ended the call with brevity.
Once I hung up, these questions started to gnaw at me.

Could I or should I have done better by her at our first meeting?  Did I just vex her because I'm me?  Are they the person I should patch things with? Do I really care that much?

These times of reflections greet me every evening.  I've learned that gratitude is really the answer for them all.
The past is behind me, and I can't allow others to stunt or paralyze my future because they missed the beauty of my growth phase. Nor should I perpetuate pentence for mistakes or former versions of myself.

Imitation is the highest form of flattery. When people don't imitate, they praise you or they HATE. There are always going to be people who I'll vex just because I'm me. (Even before I speak)

Does this relationship matter to me? Do they possess skills or access I desire? If so, then heck yeah, I care about them caring about me, and I'm willing to change for it.
If not, there is nothing further to discuss.

This young lady reminded me today that I have extraordinary choices and super powers. Quite frankly, people don't react this way of they really didn't care.  No matter the reactions of other, I do not require people to validate me. I ALWAYS have the power to remain silent and keep shining my light.

I was proud of myself today. I still care enough to do inventory, but am strong enough to say, I've grown past said incident and circumstance.  None of these encounters will be any less awkward in the future, but I look forward to bring all grace and mercy with me as I reintroduce people to my highest self, and I'm ok with this image reflecting back at me.

Do you cringe at seeing people from your past? How do you respond to people who trap you into an old picture frame? How does it make you feel for the person you are today?

#lifeofbliss #reflections.